Holistic Authenticity
I must admit, I write this article because I feel it is necessary to for me so as to be holistically authentic. Some of you may realize based on the entries of late that I've been contemplating a lot about suffering, evil, and even if G-d exists. I'm still shomer mitzvoth - I still observe and practice the commandments. That's a story for another day. I say this because I'm not full of doubts because I've given up on Torah. Quite the opposite, it's because I see G-d's promises in Torah being unfulfilled that my prayers to G-d are, "WHY?!" It would be wrong to assert otherwise. It would be false and dangerous to tell others that the religious person doesn't have doubts about G-d.
Surely some people will not understand. To them, faith goes beyond doubt. To me, I see value in doubt. Doubt is what leads a person to progress, to learning. I've written on this topic before. Without doubt, we are shakled to sameness, to shallow comfort, to a lack of holistic self. I see faith enhanced by doubt. I can only come closer to the truth by seeking. Humility necessitates doubt in our lives. If we think we know everything and are right beyond any doubt, we are dogmatists, bullies.
This is not what I want to write about though. We've lost, as a people, the sense of being human. I think in some ways the Internet is destroying our humanity. What is more Western - more cerebral - than this? A large criticism I've had about Western culture is its near-worship of rationalism and hedonism. It's about living a cerebral life while pursuing pleasure. It focuses on reason and the mind as the best mode, while valuing pleasure as the ultimate reward of the efforts. On the Internet we can poke someone on Facebook or send them a hug. I receive hugs from people who've probably never given me a real hug in the past and haven't now. Its easy to hide behind a computer screen and say what you want to do rather than actually do it.
I've long been saying I want to change the voice and direction of this blog. And in some ways, I realize now that part of the issue I had is with the medium in general. In which case, I should direct more energies to oratory which is what I've been working towards anyway. In this sense, this is not my main work then, it compliments it.
For instance, I've also criticized Judaism for not focusing more attention on "physical devotions." I want more song, dance, a true value for exercise and the physical world - like gardening or materializing our compassion to animals and people. Yes, the Chassidim in this regard I think have it right though I'm not a Chassid. I'm a strange breed, an individual; and I used to be okay with that. But then the current in Judaism blew so hard against me that I felt harassed, humiliated, and shamed by people who dared even call me friend but who fought against me to be me. They instead want me to be a mold, a cookie-cutter Jew. I'm done playing that game. You can chastise me, reject me, call me names, "expel" me or whatever else. As the saying goes, "those who matter don't mind and those who mind, don't matter." Extremism is not just effecting Judaism, it's effecting every social-demographic in the world. Partially because of this cerebrally-oriented culture that's been exported to the world through media and Internet.
Get off your fat ass and exercise if you want to lose weight. If you feel like dancing in the street or skipping, why should you yell at me or give me a face of scorn? Just because you're unhappy with your life and want everyone else to feel miserable too? Sure, dress it up in false guises of rationalism and reason. Give me and tell me all the reasons and a detailed argument of why this or that or X, Y, or Z. Frankly, people will believe what they want. Logic and reason play little part in it. Usually its a backwards argument; people look for reasons and arguments to stand for what they already believe in. They want vindication, not truth-seeking.
Thankfully, there are still truth-seekers in the world. They look with disdain at popularity and challenge "truths" even if they heard it from credible sources. They realize everyone - including themselves - are peddlers. We're always trying to sell something.
It used to be you could skip down the street and people would laugh and smile at you. Now, you're a freak, a weirdo. People don't skip, they use Facebook to say, "I skip down the street with you, my virtual friend." Husbands talk to their wives online though they're sitting in the same house! People play a game online cooperatively while in the same room. South Park had it right with their episode mocking Guitar Hero: people are more interested in a virtual world than the real one. They don't want to play the guitar, "that's gay and for old people" but want to make believe they can. Rather than dance or sing when they feel like it, they keep it inside and bottle it up.
Congratulations world, you've become a man. You bottle up your emotions, seek to run to play games and hide from reality, and seek to lord over others your power/beliefs/personality. Screw that.
Part of the problem I think is that we've lost touch with our humanity. We've become less than human. We live in our brains and in the pleasure receptacles of our bodies. We've lost our spirit, our emotion, our heart, our body, indeed: we've lost our soul - the entirety, the wholeness of being a "being." At least in my self-examination over the months I've realized my doubts, my fears, my worries are because I've been lacking in the wholeness department (the doubts/etc ones I mentioned above; like, if I'm not feeling spiritually inspired or that G-d is taking care of me, if G-d's promises don't seem to be true in my life of continual struggle and hardship, maybe it's more honest to say I don't know - and to stop writing in such a way that assumes G-d exists). That is, I had thought, well other people are searching for answers and so I can present my thoughts on why G-d exists, even though I still have my doubts. But rather than say that, I just instead presented the arguments. I'm sorry; it probably came out pushy in that way. It was not authentic, but definitely a way to protect myself from the jerks who have nothing better to do than to go online and start arguments, call people names, and tell them that they're wrong or "sinful" or brand them a "heretic" and tell others - discrediting you (by the way, I find it fascinating how many "observant" Jews will defy the prohibition of slander & libel which says to publically humiliate someone is like killing them! But it's done all the time, especially by the religious against other religious who aren't the exact same as them!).
It's time to stand up to these people by no longer capitulating. No longer caring. Not even responding. At least, those are my thoughts. The extremism and fundamentalism sweeping the world - what was predicted many years ago as the "clash of civilizations" seems to be nearing - can only be stopped by people who stand against it. Not who hide from it, who try to influence the sway or others caught up in it by not being authentic versions of themselves, instead sacrificing their humanity to fit in with that crowd just enough while still trying to maintain some semblance of individuality and their humanity.
Enough is enough. Perhaps being authentic and being prepared to make mistakes, to gasp be "a sinner" is a better direction. After all, with so many groups and political and religious sects out there, you're bound to be a sinner by someone's standards or an enemy of someone. Rather than push back the pushy people, stand aside and let them trip. If they push you, you don't need to push back, just redirect their energy (as a martial artist, I can't help but use these analogies; though common to many forms, most will associate this with aikido). In fact, the Psalmist relates something similar and I don't recall it at the moment, but it says that the wicked perish by their own design essentially. It's in the daily siddur, but Shabbat is close and I don't want to look it up right now.
Courage is also about being able to be wrong - but not only that, admitting when you are wrong. It's one thing to be bullheaded and rush ahead, but then be unable to apologize or admit your failures in such a way that you change or rectify the mistake you made or make amends to the person you hurt. In Judaism, the tendency is towards a universalism, this idea that everyone needs to follow the same customs and be the same. There are some who counter this, who argue we should keep the traditions of our minhag - of our custom - those taught to us by our ancestors, rather than just blindly follow what the "halakha really is" because so-and-so, some "great sage" said so. Otherwise, people - as we're finding - are not being drawn towards this form of Judaism, but more and more repulsed by it. It in my humble opinion, violates the Torah principles anyway and what modern psychology and sociology teaches us; what we have evidence and models for, for goodness sakes!
It's time we who want to live holistic authentic lives come together. We don't have to agree; there's beauty in variety! A painting if it were only 1 color and 1 shade, 1 hue, would be nothing. It wouldn't even be able to have white canvas. If you agree, please feel free to be in touch with me. Share your perspectives, make yourself heard. More than that, be you. I've too often felt like dancing only to think, "Oh, these [religious] people would not like that" and so I don't or "well, they'd accept it, but I wouldn't do it their way, so who knows what they'd think." Everyone is telling us what to think, how to act, what to buy (yes, commercials are an insult to your dignity!), and everything else about life. So just live. This interconnectedness has many great benefits, but at what cost?
Strive for a holistic authenticity. If you feel like there's a void in your life, or whatever it is you seek - spirituality, truth, G-d, if there's a G-d and who's concept is right, love, children, to achieve some dream that people tell you is unrealistic - go after it. Our body talks to us right, telling us when we need food or drink. Maybe our soul (what I think of as "our entire being" including body, spirit, mind, heart, etc) talks to us and tells us what we need too. Liberate yourself (you needn't throw discipline out the window, but don't imprison yourself needlessly). Maybe it's time to listen rather than update a status page about it.
Time to go out and live; put this to better practice. 
Shabbat shalom!
Shabbat shalom! 
Posted by Shomer Tiferet at 19 Jun 2009, 5:09 AM 
Categories: Philosophy,Liberty,Health,General,Judaism,Personal,Religion,Funny,Psychology,Solutions,Confidence
Categories: Philosophy,Liberty,Health,General,Judaism,Personal,Religion,Funny,Psychology,Solutions,Confidence
Check out Rabbi Francis Nataf's article (Ideas #124): "Halachic Man and Authentic Man." You can access it here (or copy-paste this http://www.cardozoschool.org/show_article.asp?cat_id=1&cat_name=Jewish%20Thought%20and%20Philosophy&subcat_name=Other&subcat_id=48&article_id=656&parent_id=1 ).
Rabbi Cardozo in his talk on "the Joy of Heresy" (which is an MP3 file on that website) and in his commencement speech which I heard in person this past Tuesday also spoke on various themes I've related here. Wow, it's like affirmation after re-affirmation that I'm headed in the right direction, an authentically me direction.
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